how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
