that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
