I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she peed on how many people?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
