If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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