"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize