4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
