eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
