He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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