It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
