Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
