I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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