Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
