We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
