**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize