I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize