Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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