Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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