Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
