sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
