why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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