Whod you bang
your thong is hanging out like whoa
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
