after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
