It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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