There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You've changed since you got that strap on
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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