Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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