You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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