the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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