You're completely useless in the revolution.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
