I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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