Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I believe in your delicious
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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