How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
