none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize