Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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