there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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