We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
