so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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