I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
