i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
