I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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