if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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