he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
