I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I love having hate sex.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
