Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
