discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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