I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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