i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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