Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
