Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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