I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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