Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He has the fingertips of a God
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