i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
