I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
