i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
