when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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