at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
