Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
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she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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