yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
