girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
