We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
