dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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