yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I need a beard to bite.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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