My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
