You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
