just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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