Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
