I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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