maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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