Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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