the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
