eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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