I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
